What's for breakfast?

Here they are again, Chef B and Chef S, preparing their fameous wooden food for their eager clientele of stuffed animals. The cats are fond of shrimp kabobs, and the rabbit, as you would expect, enjoys carrots. Oddly, though, the owl tends to eat watermelon and the horse chooses toast.

New Piano!

Cementric

Benjamin said he wanted to put a tinker toy on each end of a stick because he likes it cementric.

Untached

At dinner, Benjamin was talking about turning the kitchen table into a slide. "First, you untach the legs on this side, and then you climb up the chairs and slide down."

Then, Stuart put his hand in his gravy. He needed a rag. He said, "I need a waaag," but it sounded like wog. Benjamin said, "What? You need a wog? Are you going to build a wog cabin?"

Happy new year!

We had a little party. There was food, there were games, and there was dancing.

Look how Stuart looks over at Steve and thinks, Oh! I was forgetting to do the head! Happy new year all.

Santa Claus

Benjamin said, "You know that I know Santa Claus is not real, right?"
Sure, I said, but it's nice to pretend.
"Now wait a minute," Steve says, "we have evidence! We had presents under the tree that said 'from Santa'."
Benjamin said, "yes, that's because some people know how to spell Santa Claus."
For the record, I didn't tell him Santa is not real. His best friend at school has 3 older brothers.

Zoo

Stuart, we're going to go to the zoo today. "Today? Are we going to see cows?" No, we'll see elephants and monkeys and giraffes. He nodded and thought about this for a minute, and then, as if he was just checking, "Will we see dinosaurs?"

Eraser

Stuart got a rubber eraser in his Christmas Bon Bon.
He said, "I want to write something and then un race it."

Three little pigs

When we were walking to school on Wednesday, Stuart says, "Can we be three little pigs?"
OK.
"I'm the woof."
I'm the pig with the sticks.
Benjamin was an airplane at that point, but he was listening.
Stuart said, "Little pig, little pig, let me come IN!"
I said, not by the hair of my chiny-chin-chin.
Stuart said, "Then I'll huff, and I'll puff and I'll blow your house down," and spit on my hip.
Benjamin said, "Do it to me!"
Stuart said "Which pig are you?"
Benjamin said he was the pig with the straw.
Stuart said "OK."
"Go, Stu!" Benjamin prompted.
Stuart said, "Knock knock."

Jingle all the way

Stuart sings, "Jingle bells, Jingle bells, Jingle bells all the way..."
Benjamin is trying to read here and there. He was sounding out the word red. He said:
errrr-ed
errrr-ed
errrrred
errrrred
wed!
He did the same thing with row (pronounced woah), and broke into a chorus of "Woah, whoa, whoa your boat," in which Stuart joined in with an enthusiastic, "Mehwilly, mehwilly, mehwilly, wife is but a dweam."

Pasta

I've never heard anyone use the phrase, "he crammed a piece of fettuccine in his mouth" before, but it seems appropriate here.

Jail

Steve told Stuart, as he (Steve) put him (Stuart) in his (Stuart's) car seat, I'm going to be careful not to bump your head like mommy sometimes does. Stuart said, "Yes, Mommy does that. We should put her in jail."

Ever since Benjamin's first sentence, "Good Mommy, no bump head," which he uttered in such a situation, I've been very careful, honest!

Bribe

Stuart was being fussy. He was grabbing Steve's legs and saying "Pick me up!" Steve was trying to cook. He said, in desperation, Stuart, can I bribe you? Stuart immediately let go, and said, "Yes." Steve said, what do you want? "Fishy crackers." And that was that.

Stuart's hat

Do you think he knows he's being photographed?

One day at breakfast...

Stuart, that's a big spoon.

Stuart nodded. "I have big mouth."

And then Benny said, "Look mommy! I can hop on one foot with my mouth open, holding my sock!"

And he did.

We live in a city, yes we do...

Benjamin said he wanted to be a farmer when he grows up because he wants to see a cow.

Olive

"Knock knock!"
Go to sleep, Stuart.
 "Knock knock!"
"Knock knock!"
"Mommy! Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Olive"
Olive who?
"I love you!"
That's sweet, Stuart. Now go to sleep.
"Knock knock!"
Who's there?
"Olive"
Olive who?
"I love rocking the boat!"

Boats

What do you want to do now, Stuart? "Boats. ...after all!" I don't know how I figured out what he wanted, but I did, and we went to Disneyland and rode the boats into Small World (after all).

Gourmand

Surf's up!

Benjamin pushed his fork into a potato at dinner and held it up. He said, "Now that," dramatic pause, " is an overcooked potato." Everyone is a critic.

Before we remodeled our kitchen, the countertop was made from 4 inch tile squares. Steve broke two of these tiles at one point, trying in vain to separate two frozen sausages, by banging them on the counter.  This morning, we were at Bristol Farms, and Steve was buying sausages. "What's a banger?" Benjamin asked. A sausage. "Is that what daddy broke the counter top with? Is that why they call them bangers?" I can't imagine why we didn't think of that one ourselves, in the all grief Steve has received from me for that trick.

When we were driving home from the market, Benjamin said, "Look, there's a balloon caught in the shrubbery. Sorry, I talked Australian. I mean bush." Bring me a shrubbery or I will say Ni!

Birds

Benjamin said (I kid you not, over 20 times in a row), "Birds of a feather are stuck together." I wonder what he thinks that means?

Stuart, where are you? "In bathroom." What are you doing? "Pillow." At that, I dashed into the bathroom, to find Stuart with one of the pillows from Benjamin's bed under one arm, opening the lid to the toilet. I asked him what he was going to do with it, and he said, "On top." Well, thank goodness for that.