Route 66

I asked, "Where's Stuart?"
We heard the pitter patter of little feet.
Steve said, "En Route."
Benjamin said, "66!"
Was that a joke, Benjamin?
"No, I thought Daddy was singing the song and just forgot that part."

Daddy Head

Benjamin was calling Steve names. "Daddy-head!" Daddy-head?! Steve said, Please do not refer to my head without also referring to the rest of my body.

Where's Daddy?

This morning, Stuart asked for Daddy. He said, "Daddy!" Where's Daddy, Stu? Here's Stuart's summary of Steve's day: "Daddy!" "Work!" "Car." "Backpack." "Sandwich."  "Home!" I wonder how Benjamin would describe it? I'll have to ask him.

Toilet! Man!

In March we replaced 10 feet of our sewer. It was so full of roots and dirt, I have no idea how it was ever draining at all! My children both understood what was going on. Benjamin explained in detail. "Mommy, do you know why the toilet is not working? The tree trunks are growing down into the broken pipes."
Stuart said "Daddy! Ring Ring" (which is the phone, in case you missed that.) "Man!" "Man!" What man, Stuart? "Toilet! Man! Man! Toilet!" It was expensive but satisfying, since the old pipes were so bad.

Naked Baby!

For some reason, Stuart believes that when you take off his clothes, he should run around the house as fast as he can. When Steve dried him off after his bath, he escaped and took off running. Steve eventually caught him and brought him to the bedroom, where I was unrolling Benny from his towel by pulling one side, sending him spinning across the room. Stuart, what's going on? He said, "Naked Baby! Naked Baby!" Then he looked around and said, "Naked Benny!" He looked at Steve, "Naked Daddy!" Naked Daddy?!  Stu said, "Hahaha! Joke!"

20 Answers

I taught Benjamin how to play 20-questions. When I was guessing, I'm pretty sure he kept forgetting what his thing was, and would after a while, just say, "Yay! You got it!" Yesterday, at breakfast, he said, "I know what we can do while we eat!" What, Benny? "We can play," dramatic pause, "20 answers!" I said OK. I'll think of something, and you guess. I'm ready. Now you ask me questions, and try to figure out what it is. "OK." Pause. "Um." After another pause, he asked, "What is it?"

BNEAJMIN

Benjamin practices writing regularly. He has a wet-erase place mat with uppercase and lowercase letters that he particularly enjoys. On Katherine's birthday card he actually wrote, "Happy Birthday, Katherine, Love Benjamin," and made it all fit. Here is one of his first efforts. I love the E.

Here's the one he brought home from school today.

Can you guess what this is? The model number is R21, in case anyone wanted to know.

How was your day today, Benjamin? "Whooh. It was rough. The vertical stabilizer on the airplane that I was building just fell off, and it took me the whole day to put it back on."

What the...

This one's for those who have see the movie, Hunt for Red October, enough times to quote it occasionally.

Benjamin rolled a small handful of mashed potatoes into a ball, flattened the ball on his plate, then picked the disk up with his fingers to put it on his fork, before shoving it into his mouth. Steve said, What the heck are you doing? Benjamin said, "You can just say, 'What the...,' That's what Casey says. 'What the...'" (Casey's a friend from school.) Steve said, you could say, What the H-E-Double Hockey Sticks. That's what you could say. Benjamin said, "I'm not following you, Jonesie!"

No, Benjamin has not seen the movie. He is a sponge.

Knock, knock!

Benjamin loves telling jokes. Today, he said, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" I don't know, I said. Why? "Because the tape had legs!" He laughed. I didn't. Does that make sense? "No." he said indignantly. "It's a joke."

Hey, Benjamin! I heard a joke on the radio (we can thank Lynne Rossetto Kasper for this one): what's the difference between a chilly bean and a regular bean? The chilly bean wears a jacket! I think that this is the first joke that Benjamin actually got. Of course he tells it often, and of course Stuart tells his own version. He says, "Bean!" "Jacket!" "Joke!" 

Benjamin also enjoys knock-knock jokes. I taught him the one that ends, "Orange you glad I didn't say banana?!" He told it repeatedly for days:

"Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana banana. Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Banana banana. Knock knock!
Who's there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Good I didn't say banana!"

Then he laughs, and there's a pause, and then, "Knock, knock!" What was I thinking?

With all that knock knocking, Stuart picked up on it. One evening on the way to bed, Benny was having a horsey ride on Steve's back, and resting his chin painfully in Steve's shoulder. After asking him to shift his chin a few times to no avail, Steve got irritated, and made Benny walk. Benny threw a short but pointed tantrum, as Stuart and I looked on. As I lay down with Stuart to try to get him to go to sleep, he said, "Daddy." "Neck." "Benny." "Crying." And then, after a pause, "Benny happy." You want him to be happy, Stu? "Happy!" "Knock knock banana!" Good night Stuart.

Splat

Stuart came back from the playground, and Steve told him to come in and tell me what happened. He said, "Down." "Me." "Splat." And then he made a spitting noise and said "Sand." "Daddy." "Water."